I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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