sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
