One girl and one boy is just not enough.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
this is an emotional support booty call
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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