mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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