We're facebook friends in real life
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
