my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Randomize
