Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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