judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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