i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
