remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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