maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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