Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize
