I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
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