Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Randomize
