so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
