Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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