My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
