38 yer olds are good kisserssss
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Randomize
