did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Randomize
