its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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