He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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