dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
