Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
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