I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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