last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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