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HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
