I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
