Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
50% drunk capacity currently
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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