Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
