he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
