your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
