dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
