Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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