I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
