i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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