sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
