State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize