I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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