It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
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