respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Randomize
