How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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