Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
