I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Randomize