can we get nightvision for the apartment?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize