i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
