You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
