Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
