My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
