You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
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