she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
i believe in u and ur pee
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
