How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
