Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
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She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
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I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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