I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
