the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
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