i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
