Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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