I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
