I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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