after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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