Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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