Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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