don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
