check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
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