you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
porn star boner night. come get it.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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